Tattoos on My Soul
Pam “Rhia” Steele
Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Sjögren’s, Autoimmune Anemia, Raynaud’s
Feeling of emotion, of faith, peace and hope are sometimes difficult to find when you are chronically ill, have chronic pain, and all of the mental and ohysical ailments, that produce such an emotional realm, I find myself lost in what love seems to have been tattooed on my Soul over the lst 25 to 30 years. I have written since I was 13 years old. I have published two poetry books, have a third one almost ready; plus just published the first book of two telling my own personal journey through the cracks, crevices, the pits, downfalls, up’s, down, wishes… My advocacy through the many specials non-profits keep me holding faith close to my heart. Those “trips, falls, sliding down the mountains after crawling over the rocks snd stones of chronic illness brings me joy, when I can write and help others.
Tattoos on My Soul
As I tried to pieces the pieces of my heart to make it whole.
Suddenly they appeared as if out of thin air and made feel.
I realized I am heavy at times … misunderstood… making my mind reel.
As the hours, days, months went by, I understood they were a “Tattoo on my Soul”.
As I walked through the valleys of the desert, I had no role.
My mind told me that had I to be be strong …
To walk that path..through all of the hell… on my own… alone.
I turned around to a silent sound of the a call the nightbird… one more… “Tattoo on my Soul”.
I turn to the small spaces between dark and light…it beings me hope.
I stand in the black ink darkness of being alone..an Angel of none but with Gossamer wings…
When the midnight hour of the full moon arises… that glow gives me a voice that rings.
As I feel too much, am Real too much.. I cause people to walk away.. yet they are “Tattoos on my Soul”.
So many memories I may have may forgotten; I know now they are lessons to make know me know.
Those that walk through a heartbreak.. trying to love again…the ﬁre burn brightly..for ‘Tis me.
The ever ending oceans tides pull me into the life … that Gypsy I am always setting free.
To stroll through the realms of “Why to do, where to go… each place leaving “Tattoos of my Soul”.
I give all of myself to all of those that are all around… yet they shall never really know…
Because I a an enigma”, a conundrum of sorts, mixture of dark, light, love, sadness, I found my role.
To walk among others and be their light, their path, the way to allow them to see it all..watch all unfold.
As I see my path, my journey, relive so many memories those that are “Tattoos on my Soul”.
No one here could understand my dilemma… no one here could ever truly ﬁnd the place they shall ever know.
All I need to do is ﬁll my cup completely up.. for that is what gives me a reason to shout out..tell the world.
Those that fell too much, see too much, experience too much… those brave enough… to
Stand in the ﬁre of life, love..and watch all that shall be unfurled.
I keep those that allow themselves to crawl, bleed, be real, stand up for a belief… are among the “Tattoos on my Soul”.
I have the holes in me … I now have all of the scars I can speak of; give the truth of my role.
I can see the future, stand in the present..and allow the realms of the past to never have hold.
I refuse to allow scars and holes to leave me bitter, to harm others; yet to make me strong and bold.
I roll with the lightening changes, dance this dance I have been given.. each step brings “Tattoos on my Soul”.